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An update

12 April 2018 | Post A Comment

I last posted on here around 10 months ago and have thought about posting again every day in that time. Now that I feel like I am ready it's probably a good idea to fill you in and we can all be up to date.

Let's get the boring stuff out the way first. I have completed 25 weeks of CBT with an NHS therapist. As I am sure you know, the services for people with mental health struggles on the NHS are poor. My therapist was good, he understood that I had a pretty thorough understanding of CBT from years of private therapy so we focussed more on mindfulness. This was helpful but these limited sessions of finite therapy were not really for me and I was always aware that the sessions would have to soon come to a close. However, I will be forever grateful to these sessions and my therapist because they introduced me to meditation and yoga which is now something I really love.

I am currently under a psychiatrist who I see every couple of months with the view of this being long term. I see this purely as the NHS covering their backs as no other form of therapy or medication has markedly improved my debilitating symptoms. For now, I feel I am fighting this on my own and although it seems to be a continuous uphill battle, I'm getting pretty good at fighting it.

I have tried new medication and it's been a waste of time. I'm starting to think that medication isn't the right path for me, and that's ok.

I'm still unemployed. From an outside perspective I know I must look lazy and completely unmotivated but I know with complete certainty and the backing up of the people closest to me that work is still out of the question.

Some days are filled with crying in bed unable to do anything and others are filled with reading, yoga, cooking, listening to music, taking baths, meditating, cleaning and tidying. This is my life right now and it's really difficult but I am trying to find ways of making the most of it when I can.

My last post on All Things Beautiful before the break was talking about my decision to go vegetarian. Since then I have taken it down as I think some of the information was unhelpful as I was not fully informed at the time. I was vegetarian for just a month and when I discovered the truth about the dairy and egg industries I cut them out and went vegan immediately.

Going vegan is the best decision I have ever made, it has changed my life in so many ways. I am very passionate about it and therefore I will be writing about it. This has been one of my barriers regarding starting to post here again. I know that my opinions will offend some people and I know that I will get comments that will make me sad and angry. But this blog is mine and it is a place where I can share my thoughts and opinions. I will always try to do so from a place of kindness and integrity. I encourage feedback and honest respectful discussion on all topics I write about, especially the difficult ones and I hope that this can continue.

If you are one of my previous readers who has stuck around I am so very thankful. Thank you for being patient and being so encouraging, it is because of you that I am writing this today. Please leave me a comment here on the blog, on my facebook page or contact me personally and let me know how you are doing. What have you been up to? Have there been any significant changes in your life and how have you been coping with them? What are you loving in your life at the moment?
With love, Beth x

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